If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
