It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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