HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
why is half of my head shaved?
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