the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
