I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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