he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
