Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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