So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
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