Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
