C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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