It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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