This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
