we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
