I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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