dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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