i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
