Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
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