I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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