Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
