Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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