can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
