Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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