To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
