If i come over, it means nothing
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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