elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
