I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize