WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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