a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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