I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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