I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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