is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
