oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
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