Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
