She said her name was "party"
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
