don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
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