He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize