I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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