pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
