Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Randomize
