I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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