were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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