I don't remember. Are we still dating?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
