Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Randomize
