I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
