Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
