My nipple is on Facebook.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
where does the pee come out of this thing
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
