dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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