I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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