she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
