they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
