If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
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