the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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