That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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