YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
