its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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