Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
