I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
