Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
