we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
