this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
