So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Randomize
