therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
